What attributes drawn you to their ADHD lover? That was a concern during my ADHD Lover Questionnaire, the essential full browse to date on the ADHD and you can relationship. We shall look at the solutions on this page.
Very first, rolklore continues concerning your variety of someone keen on grownups with ADHD for intimate matchmaking-and vice versa. Never notice that regarding the U.S. by yourself, grownups with degree of ADHD matter off ten so you can 31 billion. Simply put, they aren’t clones. Neither try its friends.
- “Opposites Attention”: People who have ADHD is drawn to “organized” and joyless specialists bees who will secure the teaches running having the both of them and you can which in turn is interested in the free-spirited ADHD lover’s love of life and you will feeling of fun.
- “Such as Pulls Such”: Those with ADHD is actually drawn to anybody else having ADHD while the they naturally see each other more than one “Muggle” you will.
These two stereotypes are entirely contradictory. Yet, they echoed having equivalent certitude from the ADHD neighborhood whenever i are contrasting my personal very first book-nonetheless now. Sure, partners installing one another stereotypes showed up during my regional and online discussion communities. But really, anywhere between these two extremes put the fresh new teeming brand of people individuals as well as their relationship.
As i desire to say, “Individuals with ADHD are just like virtually any human beings, simply moreso.” As well as the exact same is true for matchmaking in which one to otherwise both lovers has actually ADHD: It have a problem with the same issues that complications all couples, simply more so.
Creating issue
How-to decide to try such stereotypes? Constructing a question ended up problematic when creating my personal ADHD Companion Survey. We paid for the a tremendously sagging “angling journey.”
A portion of the restrict: Questionnaire respondents don’t are the ADHD couples, precisely the couples away from grownups having ADHD (although some together with had ADHD themselves). Therefore, the new respondents suspected or replied predicated on what they got gleaned off their ADHD companion.
In addition to, the new traits We indexed were alternatively haphazard. And, participants weren’t determining between characteristics that were establish and you may attributes you to definitely were glamorous.
Nevertheless, modern browse must start somewhere. I settled towards two questions, using the same range of qualities per question:
- Which of the ADHD Partner’s faculties attracted your? (Take a look at All that incorporate and you may/or add people that aren’t listed.)
- Which of your qualities do you think attracted your ADHD spouse for you? (Look at All that use and you may/otherwise put people which aren’t noted.)
Comparing the fresh new Traits
Please bear with me. It’s a little challenging to know to start with. However, of the contrasting the two groups of data side by side, we can see if an image exists. That’s, are a few collective “personality” faculties more widespread for the ADHD mate (brand new mature with ADHD) or the other mate (the respondent)?
step 1. Hence Attributes Drawn You to definitely The ADHD Lover?
For it very first graph, I arranged by this very first concern, arranged regarding higher to help you lower: “Which of ADHD Partner’s qualities drawn your?”
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Yellow is short for new respondent’s ADHD Partner’s faculties, the ones that the newest questionnaire respondent found very glamorous. It appears as though the newest five larger brings was:
- Spontaneous; enjoyable are having: that it feature is actually represented almost doubly into the ADHD partners such as respondents but nonetheless a little present in the fresh new participants
- Humorous; cheerful: just a little even more depicted inside ADHD lovers
- Interesting; imaginative, “different”: throughout the a third a great deal more depicted within the ADHD couples
- Attractive; sexy: in the equal, which have respondents rating on their own just a little more desirable and you may horny than just their particular ADHD people (sure, bias could well be problematic right here…as i said…”angling journey”).
- Good money manager: huge disparity there between respondents and ADHD people